Identity: The First W
Author: Tiarra Harper
Who. What. When. Where. Why. These question words are commonly known as “the 5 W’s” in the English language. I find it interesting that the first question word is who. I believe that is because “who” is human. “Who” is identity. It’s the question we seek answers for first but also the question we fill in the blanks for the most. I am sure by this point you are wondering who I am.
Who am I?
My parents called me Tiarra. My friends call me Tea. My nephew calls me Auntea. Strangers call me ma’am (I live in Oklahoma, and I guess I am old enough to be called ma’am) but I wouldn’t say any of those things describe who I feel I am. I am a wanderer. I am a thinker. I enjoy finding glimmers in my day-to-day life and romanticizing it as much as possible. I stop to smell flowers and look to the clouds for my favorite art. Societally, I am a black cis-gendered woman. A member of the alphabet mafia and before you report me to the feds, please note that I just mean the LGBTQIA+ community. I am pro-choice and pro-human. At the office I am a leader. At the park I am a stranger. At the grocery store I am a consumer. I could go on an on but if humans are so many things what is identity?
What is identity?
According to the Merriam-Webster dictionary identity is “the distinguishing character or personality of an individual”. That definition is okay, but I like the way the Collins Dictionary defines it. “ The condition of being oneself or itself, and not another ”. The latter definition leads me to believe that we have agency over our own identity. Identity is who you believe and say you are. Who am I to bel ieve that I know anyone better than they know themselves and the same can be said about you and me. Psychology says there are two types of identities: social and personal and within those types are categories called “the Big 8”. I am no psychologist, but I think identity has two types as well, but I think of it more like hardware vs. software. There are parts of my identity that are inherently a part of me and don’t change.
The hardware of who I am:
My familial identity: I am always Lori and Otis’s daughter, Kelby’s sister, and Jensen’s Aunt.
My racial identity: I am always black.
These are just a few examples, but these are identities that are bestowed upon me.
However, the software of who I am are the parts of me I have had to discover on my own.
My Gender: Woman, she/her/hers.
My passions: I am a plant mom, I am a creative, I am a wanderer.
My behaviors: I am a leader, I am brave, I am thoughtful.
My beliefs: I am spiritual.
Much like the software on your computer or cell phone, our software identities update as new information becomes available to us. My “software” sometimes feels more like an algorithm, updating often and without much warning. Identity, like the humans it is attached to, is ever evolving and has many layers.
Why identity matters?
Identity leads most of our decision making believe it or not. It impacts the way we respond to situations, how we connect and communicate with others and what goals and objectives we pursue. The ability to embrace and express our identity not only benefits us but society as well. For me my identity impacts my friend circles, my financial decisions, my moral compass and so much more. According to this medically reviewed post at verywellmind.com, identity creates self-awareness, provides direction and motivation, and improves decision-making plus more. Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs lists love and belonging, esteem and self-actualization as human needs. According to this theory, 3 out of 5 human needs involve identity in some capacity, that’s why identity matters.
