Me, My Mask, and I
Author: Essi S. Wognakou
My journey began in West Africa, where I was born, but took a significant turn when my family relocated to Oklahoma. Growing up in an African household in the heart of the United States presented a unique set of challenges. I found myself navigating the delicate balance between honoring my cultural heritage and assimilating into American society.
From an early age, I grappled with the complexities of identity. Trying to find my place among the popular kids while simultaneously being one of the few black girls in my schools was a constant struggle. I faced criticism and bullying from all sides—mocked by some for not fitting their preconceived notions of blackness, and ostracized by others for supposedly "acting white" or pursuing activities like cheerleading.
My parents, focused on external appearances, added another layer of pressure. It felt like they only cared about how we looked to outsiders, perpetuating a cycle of insecurity and self-doubt. I struggled with my identity, constantly seeking validation from others and feeling inadequate because of societal standards.
But it was through adversity that I began to understand the true essence of identity. Drawing on my Ghanaian and Togolese roots, I began to understand the power of symbolism, particularly the significance of masks. Beyond their physical form, masks served as a metaphor for the masks I wore in everyday life—concealing my true emotions and conforming to societal expectations.
“Masks served as a metaphor for the masks I wore in everyday life—concealing my true emotions and conforming to societal expectations.”
It wasn't until later in life that I embarked on a journey of self-discovery, shedding the layers of conformity and embracing my authentic self. I came to realize that identity is not a static concept but a fluid and ever-evolving process. As a mother, sister, daughter, lover, aunt, and friend, I found strength in my multiplicity, embracing the complexity of my identity and celebrating the richness of my experiences.
Despite the challenges I've faced — losing myself in toxic friendships and relationships, struggled with self-image—but through it all, I've emerged stronger and more resilient. I've come to understand that identity is a deeply personal journey, shaped by our experiences, values, and aspirations. I have learned to reject societal norms and cultural stereotypes, forging my own path with confidence and conviction.
Today, I stand proud of the person I've become—an amalgamation of my past, present, and future selves. The original intention of African ceremonial masks was to symbolize the unseen supernatural forces guiding our lives. I am proud of my culture and fully embrace this concept of honoring the spirits in modern ways. I no longer feel the need to conform to societal or cultural norms to feel validated. I am enough, just as I am.
So here's to embracing our true selves, unapologetically and wholeheartedly. Let's celebrate the kaleidoscope of identities that make us who we are, recognizing that our differences are what make us truly beautiful.
