Marcus

Sanders

My story begins in Berkeley California in 1968. Life was pretty good up until my mama told me we were moving to Pittsburg California, and that’s when the bullying started. I began to take on the role of a protector and learned to fight back, so much so that it kept me in trouble at school and distracted me from my studies. I didn’t like to see others taking advantage of anybody else, so I would often stand up for the little guy. 

Taking Control of the Situation

By the time I was 12 years old, I realized my siblings and I needed certain things that our mama just couldn’t provide for us. We went to school without breakfast most of the time and often would come home to find no food in the house. I remember the last straw for me was finding an old can of cranberry sauce in the cabinet, putting it in the freezer to get cold so I could stomach eating it. I felt as though I had to be the man of the house and it empowered me to take matters into my own hands. That’s when I began to steal food from grocery stores so my little sister, brother and I could eat. 

The Crack Era

It began by looking like this golden opportunity to quit school and become an entrepreneur to provide for my family by making big money, fast. It was out of necessity to survive because I was damn sure not going to sit there and let my sister live without having what she needed. I turned into “the guy” along with our crew , and I was good at it. Not only did the bills get paid, food and clothing provided regularly, but we had the best of the best. Some partners and I started an operation for distributing crack like a McDonald's, and we were getting so much money we didn’t know what to do with it.

6 YEARS IN PRISON

〰️

6 YEARS IN PRISON 〰️

Rapid Changes

Everything was running smoothly until I got arrested in 1987 and spent six years in prison. During that time I didn’t prepare to return back to citizenship, and my family didn’t understand the resources I would need to be successfully reintegrated into society. I was 23 years old when I got out and quickly fell right back in it.

12 YEARS IN PRISON

+

12 YEARS IN PRISON +

Facing Trauma On the Run

 Then, in 1995 on January 17th, I got the devastating news that my little brother had died. I didn’t know how to deal with this, so I decided to go on the run before the funeral. I was caught and sentenced to 12 years, having to spend time in solitary confinement.

Fire Camp

The state of California had started these Fire Camp programs where able-bodied incarcerated people were able to spend time doing something that actually mattered. I was so relieved to be sent here, having been behind the wall for so long I was finally able to see trees and cars and life outside of prison. I had to work hard to get to Fire Camp because I wanted to be in a better position to spend time with my family.

  • Fire Camp family visits were every 30 days and every visit you get to touch them and share food and just share intense moments with each other, as opposed to Penitentiary visits which were much more strict and not even guaranteed. There was a different mentality with everyone at Fire Camp. If you wanted to be with all that extra stuff, go back to the yard where the tough guys were at. Everybody there was trying to be free and do what they had to do to get home to their families.

Released in 2005

Returning Citizen

I was excited to put my years of fire training and experience to good use and went straight to the fire department to apply for a job. They hired me on the spot and I was feeling great about everything, until I went to see my parole officer. She disrespected me in front of my family and insulted my abilities.

Second Chances

I never thought I could be a part of something like the Carpenter’s Union, but it just goes to show that you never know who's watching you and who's willing to put themselves on the line to give you an opportunity to advance yourself. I still get emotional thinking about this White guy who saw a Black incarcerated man and said to himself “I see something in that person and I think he deserves another chance.”

Family is Everything

I'm 55 years old and I have 6 beautiful children, 14 amazing grandchildren and of course my wife who is the jewel of it all. She stuck by my side through it all and always believed in me. I'm rediscovering myself now as a person and that has come from opportunities of meeting different people and being able to understand the way trauma has impacted my life. 

Most Black men don’t think mental health is a real thing or that it’s a sign of a weak person, but making emotional and mental healing a priority is ultimately what leads you to becoming the best version of you and living your best life.

Giving Back

I reclaimed my life and I want to help somebody else feel the joy that I have found. Making emotional and mental healing a priority is ultimately what leads you to becoming the best version of you and living your best life. The RCA support group has helped provide a safe space to connect with people who understand what I’ve gone through and we’re dedicated to helping make lasting change.